Another grateful post

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

[Saw this on my note, I think I wanna keep it here]

23:25, Mon 27 Feb 2023

For the past few days, I had experienced a lot of things that made me realized I have more than I wanted, better than what I expected.

Like last week, I went to the annual dinner of the company I worked at. I had few deep conversations, which showed me that if I went through the paths I planned for, it definitely will end up much worst. Allah made it easy for me to go there & went home safely. Despite being brave, I did feel scared to go everywhere on my own.

Today, I was clueless about a lot of things at work, but Allah send me people to help me understand better. After working hours, my sister, brother in law & their little cute baby came. We had dinner at a nice restaurant with good food & affordable price. & we were led to the mosque. The baby behaved, I could read the Quran & we stayed from Maghrib till Isyak. It was nice having quality time within 3 hours. Then they sent me home. I had this thought while I was in shower.

I was blessed beyond measure. Life didn't turned out the way I expected it to be, but better in ways I never imagined. Of course I had dreams I wished to come true, but Allah always knows best.

I still remember days when I was rebellious, questioning Allah on a lot of things, kept wanting Him to give what I wanted. Instead of asking, I was more like forcing Him. & without knowing, I was being someone I never wanted to be. Then, one by one of my blessings were pulled away, especially the peace in my heart.

I was fortunate I had the chance to fix things & return back to Him. & life has been a lot better since then.

Last week when I called my mom, we had a lengthy conversation about life & she said, "Someday you'll know why things happened the way they did. One day when you're older you'll say, 'Ah, that's why Allah has planned my life the way it is, right now'". With everything I had went through, I already have a lot of 'Ah, that's why!'.

There were still days, when there'll problems arised, & my heart just felt I couldn't take anymore. But what He puts me through, was everything I could deal with.

Therefore, I am grateful. & thus, this is enough.

I'll always pray Allah will give me, whatever He thinks best for me. I can set the bar & my own decisions, but ultimately it's up to him. May Allah ease.