2017, a year of me time.

Assalamualaikum and Hi,

"2016 has been a meaningful year for me. I haven't achieve a lot of things but I've gained a Science degree, learn the flaws that I have and how to improve them. I also manage to discover what I want.

It's not really a big year for me but I didn't experience major heartbreak, super hard difficulties or any loss. So it's really a good year. Alhamdulillah.

Hopefully 2017 will be better for each one of us"

This is what I wrote about 2016. Surprisingly, all the things in "..major heartbreak, super hard difficulties or any loss." happened to me in 2017. I never had such pain all my life but in 2017. Albeit, I still don't think 2017 was a bad year for me. The only pain I had to go through was in job hunting process. It was so hard, tiring, costly and I ended up getting rejected, not once but 6 times. On some days, I cried, stayed in bed, watched dramas to remove the pain and do whatever I can to not feel hurt again. And then I had to wake up and start the process all over again until now. (p/s: whoever reading this please hope I will get a job soon).

Nevertheless, 2017 was still a good year full of blessings for me. Let's recap for a bit;

January - March

Excited to stay at home. Start doing the house chores.Watched few Kdramas. Attended my first interview and it was so bad. I was rejected. I got my last MARA allowance was in February so sadd. In March I got another 2 interviews and sadly both applications were unsuccessful. I also start a small business and it went quite well but then there's a few issue with the agency so it's a huge failure.

April

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR. My graduation day. It is still the best day ever in my life. Having my family and friends with me on special day in my favourite places are the best thing ever! Attended another 2 interviews and got rejected again.

May

Nothing much happened except my birthday. It was good to celebrate with my family. And Ramadhan began.

June

Got a sudden interview. It went very well. I was one of the finalists. The manager said they will contact me before the year end, but then it never happened :(. Ramadhan at home was the best experience every. I woke up for sahur every day, good for breaking fast, tarawih with family and I read Quran a lot though I didn't managed to finish it. And Eid happened! Like all years before, it was very amazing celebration.

July

The last time I went to KL this year to send my best friend abroad for his studies. I cried in front of everyone, such a crying baby.

August

Nothing much happened this much. I decided to remove some toxic people in my life. I rearranged everything in my room. At this point in life I've watched about 15++ Kdramas. 

September

Celebrated Madihah's birthday at Seoul Garden. I think that's it? Maybe went to Penang to send my grandmother for umrah. I started doing a planner for myself and still using it until now to be more organized.

October

Celebrated Abah's and Mirza's birthday at Seoul Garden. Played laser tag with family for first time and it was the best. Got a sudden SMS to take a test for a position under the goverment. I studied like crazyyy. Started paying back my loan.

November

Sat for the test and passed the exam!!! Next stage is the fitness test in January 2018, hopefully I'll pass in shaa Allah. I discovered Candy Crush Saga and that was my biggest mistake everrr.

December

Went to watched Star Wars: the Last Jedi and it was quite amazing. I reached level 500 in Candy Crush on 31st December. Told yaa it was a huge mistake!! And received news Dr. Khai passed away which really broke my heart. Why good people died so early???

I think 2017 was a gap year for me. Though it was the most heartbreaking year, it was a year for me to rest from my hectic life. I was busy for my entire life in my 21 years of living, especially after I entered MRSM. It was a gap year which closed the gap between me and my family. All this while the only person I cared about was myself. In 2017 I had to think of my family. I spend so much time with them and I really really loved them now, more than ever. God opened my eyes to see goodness in them and learn ways to understand these people. In 2017 too I started to write this blog again. I spend less because I have no more allowance or side income. I cleaned the house, I took over my mother's responsibilities. I never like doing the house work anyway but I did it. I swept and mopped the floor which I hated the most. I had good amazing scrumptious food every single day in 2017, mostly made by my dad. I watched so many Kdramas and learned a lot from them. I started doing another thing I hate the most, running for the physical test in January 2017.

The only bad thing happened to me was being unemployed. It is not fair if I forgot other blessings in my life just because of this one. 2017, a year of me time because I don't have to think about studies or work like I usually do. It was a year for me, to do what I really love, being with people I loved and stepping out of my comfort zone. 2017 was both good and bad year for me. Despite that no matter how much I think about all the "what ifs" question, I believe that everything in 2017, was carved for me to make me ready to enter adult life.

For that, thank you 2017, you have been a good teacher for me :)

p/s: NOW I NEED TO FIND A JOB A.S.A.P!!!