Assalamualaikum and Hi,
I'm not sure if I should write about this here, but this is the space for me to rant so why not right? Everyone have their regrets in life, so do I. Everything in life happed for a reason but there are things we wish we can change (we can't anyway). I have 3 regrets which I want to share for me to remember and improve myself, any maybe anyone can take this advise to stop making mistakes like I did,
p/s: This is so embarrassing but I really need to write it here
1. Focus on loving someone but myself
Back when I was young, I focus way too much on love/girl-guy relationship. Although I have a boyfriend later on in my teenage years, my younger days since standard 6 until Form 5 was filled with the idea of loving someone and finding the one. During those years, getting married at young age was a thing and it went viral so I put that on my wish list (HAHA I feel so stupid while writing this). I read back my diary back in high school and mostly I wrote about this guy that I like for 5 years. I should focus on writing more on myself, my life in MRSM and life growth instead. Then after high school I was in relationship with this one guy that I thought going to be the love of my life (LOML). My focus was to finish my studies and be with him. In the end I end up being tested with waiting for him to finish his studies for 3 years but end up he left me for someone he met in his uni. And worst, I spend almost a year recovering from the pain of breaking up. All these years, 13 years to be exact, my heart and mind was filled with the idea of loving someone but myself. These guys never stopped me from chasing my dreams and be a better person, but I did. All other dreams, all the improvement I should made were blinded by the idea of loving someone and someone will love me for who I am.
I only realize this when I was brokenhearted. When no one else love me except me. When my heart can't love anyone else but me. No one can be blame on this but me. There are a lot of things I can do if I focus on loving myself instead of guys. A lot. At the end of 25 years old only I realize that the only person who can make me happy is me. I can do a lot of things, learn new skills and improve myself a lot just within a year. Imagine if I use the years I wasted wisely?
Invest in yourself. Be the better version you, the best that you can be, beyond your imagination. One day the right person will come when I love myself and happy with my own lifes. When? I'm not sure. But someday he will. And if he didn't, my life is already filled with the purpose, love and happiness that I have on my own.
2. Didn't plan the future wisely
When I was 17, my exam result were very excellent and I'm able to apply for scholarship. When I choosing the uni and course, I choose based on 3 things; the duration, the place and the course. Why? Because I wanted to finish fast (to get married young), go abroad and learn Science. I didn't completely regret it.
But if I could make a better decision; I will choose a course I'm passionate at with better job prospects. I wish I do research more on what I'm going to choose, study the job market and ask opinions from people with experience. My choice is not bad, but it limits certain things that I wanted. Nevertheless, my uni days were one of the best despite the regrets that I have. For SPM leavers, good luck in choosing the course you will further your studies. Choose wisely!
Anyway, in life there are some best things happened unplanned but, things like this, do plan it wisely :)
3. Leave the house too soon.
I had my best time in MRSM, I really did. It made me become the person I am today. It's just if I were given an option again, I will go there when I was 16. I think 13 years old is very young to be apart from family. I became quite distance with my family when I went to boarding school and missed a lot of important event.
After I finish boarding school, I went to uni straight away, thus there's no time with family. Once I finished my studies, I was unemployed for 1 year. At that time, I realize what I have lost. So I spend my time wisely with them. After I started working, I always go back during holidays, even the short ones to see them. When Covid19 came, the company I work with start to work from home. I decided to go back to my hometown and stay with them.
And I never regret my decision. I managed to get back what I lost. I love my family more when I'm older. But still, that's something I wish I did when I was younger.
Of course at the end of the day, life will always be okay! If we make wrong choices, we learn from them and it will become our greatest life lessons. This post is just for me to express what I feel and if somebody comes across this, it might help them.
I guess that's all for now, thanks for reading. Take care and stay safe :)
Till then,
Adlina
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