The greatest love of all #2

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

This morning, I called my Mama & told her how difficult things were now & there were a lot of things I wanted but I didn't get. I was a little bit stressed & I cried too. But Mama said;

"Why would you stressed over small things you don't have, & forget about everything you have?"

" When you said it's hard, you're already blocking your mind that you can't do it"

"What is life without any challenges? You can't have all, you'll never will. Learn to be grateful & be a better person."

"He gave everything you wanted, but when there's 1 hard thing, you already broke down?"

"Why you wear nice clothes, put on makeup & focus to be pretty on the outside, but not on your inside? Mental & spiritual being are more important than physical being (but all are important). You should be kinder to yourself, your heart & your mind. You're torturing your soul by being stressed"

"Whenever you feel alone, go back to Allah, because you're never alone, you always have him".

My Mama always believe I'm a strong & independent girl. I'm so lucky to have her in my life. Because without her, I might not be able to be the way I am now. She's a living map that guided my way & a book that will tell me stories of life. That's one of the biggest blessings I have in life.

Dear God,

Forgive me if I always ask too much & forget every blessing You give to me.

Till then,

Adlina

10 months as a salesgirl

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

Since last May was the 10th month of being a salesgirl, there's few things I wanted to share.

- emotions & motivation

Feelings played a very important role in the life of a salesperson. Because if you feel like crap, how can you approach & have good conversation with your customers? If you're happy inside out, you can give the best service to your customer. I've through dark times back in end of March & early April. I thought I was okay but that actually effect my performance. Now when I'm very happy, everything was fine for me.

- coverage

To sustain & expand a business, you must cover wide numbers of customers. If you approach them now, maybe they won't buy anything from you. But one day, someday, the might. Because everyone is considered as potential customers.

- knowledge

As usual, knowledge is a gem one need to have gained directly or indirectly, formal or informal. With knowledge, you'll build confidence & be a better person.

To many more amazing days as a salesgirl!

Till then,

Adlina.

2022: May & Syawal

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

Can you believe it's finally June, halfway through the year already? Time flew so so so fast that I couldn't catch up anymore, but I still want to write here to remember what happened last May.

1st May was a public holiday & everybody was relaxing before eid. But there were rumors eid will come earlier 1 day. Abah said it wasn't true, while I always believe viral thing can be true too. Mama heard Ustaz gave talk that it might eid on 2nd May, so she asked all of us to clean the house & prepare to cook rendang & ketupat. 

When the announcement was made that night, it was confirmed will be eid on 2nd. Everybody was panicking & it was a chaotic moments all over Malaysia. Luckily we had made the rendang, so we only left cleaning the house & ironing the clothes. My brother & I slept at 3am to do the housechores.

The day after on 1st Syawal, everybody act like usual, still energetic. We went for prayers at the mosque, celebrated eid at home first; asking forgiveness, giving duit raya & taking pictures together.

Then in the evening we went to Penang tk visit my relatives & meeting Uncle Zain. We took pictures together by the beach like we had done every single year (except during covid years).

On 2nd day, we went to visit my grandfathers' graves, visit my grandmother's friends, & then went to mall with the siblings. I bought the expensive strawberries because I was craving for it.

The next day, Mak Long & her family came to visit us. We had lunch at IKEA before going back to Kedah. On our way, we stopped by at Abah's friend's house for a while. We had some rest on raya day 4. 

Raya day 5; brought the whole siblings to the cinema to watch Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness. It was such a good but scary movie at the same time! The next day, we went to a kenduri & then my uncle came to visit us. He gave duit raya for me because I was still single, & that's the only duit raya I received this year.

Raya day 7: bought a plant as a gift to Mama for mother's day. & the hardest goodbye came after almost 2 weeks staying at home & taking 1 week of leave to spend time with them.

Onn 10th May I got my new car &  a lot of things happen to it (let's save this for another post).

Went to the office, read books as usual. During the weekend, I went to my sister's place & we went to a lot of open houses. The traffic was so bad all over KL & Selangor! Oh that week also, I ran few kms 3 days in a row.

On the following weekend, I took a leave on Friday because Mirza & Madihah came to KL. We had soooo muchhh funnnn!

- 1st night - they rushed to KL from Bangi after work & we strolled around Putrajaya together.

- 2nd day- went to Sukiya after work but the queue was super long so we went for quick dinner & ended up exploring KL city centre which was so much nicerr! First time trying the beam scooter & I walked 6000 steps that night. 

On Friday, Mirza drove my car back, & we went to Ipoh for a while to eat nasi ganja. 

21st May - My birthday. Had breakfast with my parents & the girls. Mama bought few flowers to plant as gifts for my birthday. & the night before I went back to KL, we went to Ayaq Kopi for dinner.

The next weekend, I still go back to Kedah & finished puasa 6! Had few driving sessions with Mirza, watched Abah played football, went to mosque every night with Abah & Muadz, & had 1 hour conversation with my Mama about life.

Went back on 29th, arrived on 30th, straight went to the office, had meetings, arrange new tables, finalized everything in May & finally ready for June. 

As for work, April & May were the toughest. Even I was going back to hometown in between work, I still do my best to achieve the best for work. & the results were alhamdulillah good. I felt so glad I managed to survive the hardest moments of the year.

I ended my May by finished two books from Rupi Kaur; Milk & Honey and The Sun & Her Flowers.

May was mostly going back & forth to Kedah. It made my father so overly attached to me that he wanted me to move back. But I just can't yet, because despite being alone, I still love the life I build here & happy with the work I have. Maybe one day I'll move back, but this adventurous girl still have a lot of things she wanted to see first. Being in the city, & going back to my family seems to be the life I'm happy with at the moment.

Till then,

Adlina

2022: April & Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

This year flew by so fast, suddenly now we're in Ramadhan & 2nd quarter already. April means the beginning of the quarter two & Ramadhan is my favourite month in the Islamic year.

I still remember the easiest phase of Ramadhan was back in MRSM. Back then, attending morning classes, prep class, studying, staying up until 2 3am, finish 30 juz Al Quran, performing prayers together as well as doing tahajud prayers were so easy.

Those days I thought it was hard too but I still can do it without fail. But over the years, everything seems tougher than ever. Perhaps I was older & lack of energy to do so, or I was easily distracted these days. Juggling with daily life, work & doing everything extra on Ramadhan were hard to endure. My favourite Ramadhan memories happened back in 2019 (Read here).

Ramadhan is divided by 3 phases every 10 days; 1) Mercy of Allah (Rahmah), 2) Forgiveness (Maghfirah) & Freedom of Hellfire. So let's recap this Ramadhan by each 10 days.

Phase 1 (First 10 days)

Few days before Ramadan, I went to emotional breakdown because the last 2 years of Ramadan before I spend with family. So I kinda miss them a lot. But still, the first 10 days were the most exciting phase. I already planned what to do, where to go for breaking fast & do terawih. I woke up so early everyday & managed to complete whatever I wanted to do & slept right after terawih. I went to surau at my house, break fast & have terawih there. I will stay there from Maghrib until Isyak. On the 4th day, I have an extreme dehydration, so I bought Shaklee Performance Drink to stay dehydrated, alhamdulillah it worked well. On the first weekend I stayed at home & finished writing some of the posts in my blog. Also it was the first time I went to Masjid Wilayah. & on this week also I got the red flag so my pace started to slow down from here. I read a book, but it's quite heavy so I haven't finish it yet until now. I bought a new telekung that I always dream of to wear & bought one for my Mama too. A friend of mine & I had a conversation about doa, & it made me realized we have to keep praying & give our best efforts but Allah will answer our prayers with what He knows best.

Phase 2 (mid 10 days)

I finally went back to celebrate Ramadan with my family for a few days. Bought a new spectacles, celebrated Mahirah's birthday & took the ETS back to KL. I was so happy to spend time with my family, especially breaking fast together. I bought telekung Siti Khadijah for my Mama as a surprise & she was so extremely happyyy!  & I finally found my pace back in work. I made new spectacles because the old one already broken. When I wanted to go back to KL, I was dramatic as usual. I finally bought caryacosmetic's multipurpose makeup pallette & it's so gooodd. Finally went to office again & the jam was soooo terrible.

Phase 3 (Last 10 days)

The last phase was the most awaited by all Muslims as it's where the night of Laylatul Qadr happened (click here to know more).

Last 10 days of Ramadan was all about waking up at 3 4am for masjid hopping (inspired by Hlovate in novel Contengan Jalanan), clock in for work at 8am, rushing everywhere & also striving to achieve both Ramadan goals & work KPI. 

I went to the mosque every night & slept there few times. Had sahur & night prayers together with the communities there. It was such a meaningful moment ever. On my last night efore I went back to my hometown, I played fireworks together with the residents.  Then I stopped by at Masjid KLCC alone for night prayers where all these chasing for Ramadan started. It was so nostalgic that it made me cried whole night. I stayed with Tuwa & Alizul at their house before we went home for eid.

We continued to celebrate Ramadan until the last day, which happened to come a day earlier without all of knowing. & that's how Ramadan left us.

This year, Ramadan is definitely super tiring & have given me terrible eyebags, but it's something fulfilling & I will always treasure these moments in Ramadan 🤍

May Allah accept everything we do for Him & give us the very best that we deserve 😊

The mosque I've been to:

- Masjid Wilayah KL with Nasuha : the most beautiful mosque I've ever seen so far, feeling mcm kt Mekah wlupun belum pernah sampai sana.

- Masjid Al Hasanah/Masjid Hijau Bangi with my housemate for qiam

- Masjid KLCC alone on the 25th Ramadan : went from Bangi to this Masjid by Grab after work bcus I really wanted to go there at least once in Ramadan

- Masjid Sg Laka in Changlun with the family.

- Masjid UUM Sintok in last 2 days of Ramadan & Hari Raya prayer.

- Surau at the residence I'm living in: spend most of my Ramadan here for breaking fast & terawih

Never thought Ramadhan will pass by this fast. It was so hard to catch up with our goals, work, & to do more ibadah in Ramadhan. 

May Allah count each every deed we're doing sincerely. May we will meet Lailatul Qadr & gain all the blessings from Allah. May all the prayers you silently prayed & all the wishes you have in our heart will be granted by Him. Most of all may we will be rewarded the highest level of Jannah.

Aminn..

Till then,

Adlina

27 random memories of 27 y/o me

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

Got the idea for this post while I was travelling back to my hometown. Since today in my birthday, let's recap of 27 random memories I had in life.

1 - was born in the UK, but I didn't remember anything because I was a sweet baby. Nevertheless, out of nowhere I'm a sucker for old British songs like it's running in my blood

2 - when I was young, my imagination was so wild & wide, so I always tell stories that I've created in my mind to my sister & she actually believed it

3 - one of early memories I had was going to kindergarten in UUM when they still at the old building. & the memories I remembered was eating rice with egg & soy sauce. Also singing the song "Heal the world" by Michael Jackson.

4 - when I was in kindergarten & primary school, Mama was actually the fierce one. So I was closer to Abah. When Mama went for outstation, Abah always take care of us. There's one time, Mama went for outstation & Abah feed me rice & crab while I was crying.

5 - back in kindergarten, I was a fan of musical chair because I always won. But one day, there's this one guy who defeated me & I don't like it anymore.

6 - my favourite song was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star & I did a performance in kindergarten singing & dancing this song.

7 - I was not good at Monkey Bar but I really wanted to make it till the end so I always practice until my hands became sore. Looking back, that's the only thing I worried of back at the age of 6 & 7.

8 - I was a heavy reader when I was a child. My parents always bought books for me to read. I loved to read books about future, Aesop fabulous & Mingguan Wanita for their ghost stories. My reading habit went down when I was in boarding school & I only pick it up that habit recently.

9 - on my 9th birthday was the year my parents gave me the best surprise; so many boxes of presents which I couldn't remember now but 1 gift was an big encyclopedia because I loved books with pictures.

10 - the first time I ever failed an exam was when I was 10, because I didn't know the format so I answered in the wrong way.

11 - I was never good at Maths until 11 because I met Cikgu Jamil, the teacher who changed my life. Since then, I never got lesser than an A for Maths.

12 - I started wearing glasses since 8 years old, because my Mama noticed me watching TV at a very near distance. Oh & I loved Taiwanese drama TV3 aired at 6pm Monday till Friday before 😛

13 - when in boarding school, there's always this Aunty Cleaner who sold burgers to us secretly at the hostel & told us stories too. Never saw her since I was 15.

14 - I actually loved carrying books everywhere even when I wasn't studying because I don't like to feel guilty for not studying.

15 - in MRSM back then, we were disconnected to the outside world, thus the only way to keep in touch of the world was to read the newspapers we got for each classroom to on daily basis. 

16 - was an average student since forever, but at 16 was the first time I scored so very well & was given so many opportunities such as going for great dinner, entering a lot of nerd competitions because of that.

17 - always loved to go for trip with the school & stopped by at R&R. That's was the first time I travelled far & until now I will remember each R&R I stopped by; & that was the inspiration for this post.

18 - in my Foundation year I never saved a cent of my MARA allowance because I was excited to try everything in Sunway Pyramid as it's my first time living on my own. 

19 - afraid not, a year after that I started saving my money little by little according to my own capabilities. Still have a lot of fun with my friends, exploring the cities - went to a lot of food hunting; always favourite until now & going to malls, which now we thought were boring because malls were all same. Now I started to look at places that will give me experiences.

20 - A library & bookish lady since young - become a librarian at primary school so I could read books during recess, stayed at library in high school to because I loved the vibes & because it's air-conditioned & work part time in library in university because I always stayed there, so why didn't I stayed there while earned some pocket money? Now, I was in love with every bookstore I went.

21 - in uni days, we always went to surau at our residence, & it was one of beautiful moments in life. & that impacted me until now as it made me missed going to mosque.

22 - I went to so many job hunting journey but all the jobs I got was when I least expected to get. I was just trying my luck because the job looked interesting & I got in.

23 - SL1M days were the days I became a lot lenient with my life & the wildest phase of my life. I made friends with people from all sorts of backgrounds & tried a lot of things I never thought of doing.

24 - while in my previous job, I always stayed back late at work because catching up during working hours were hard. So I took some time to learn after work so I could improve, the latest I've stayed was at 10pm. Once I could do my job well, I never wanted to work extra hours anymore because I believed one should be productive & have work life balance 🤣

25 - being 25 was the age of unexpected happened to me. Covid 19, WFH, tough times at work & broken up - all three happened suddenly & left me in pieces. Despite whatever I felt, I still learn to pick myself.

26 - a year of change, so drastic change - changed my job, migrate to new city, improved my appearance & had a lot of adventures. Its like I was reborn again - & I started to believe, "there's more in life for you to feel that getting hurt". Just remember that & keep walking especially in painful moments. But still, give time for yourself to grief & embrace whatever sadness you felt. 

27 - many many great things happened, got few bad things also. But I bought a car this year! & scratched (probably dented a bit) on the 6th day 😆 but may I will always be brave & safe to drive 🥰

Extra things to keep here;

Turned 27 today. Being 26 changed my life the most & what I've learned over a year were;

1. One must be dynamic as change is the only constant in life. You'll grow over time as long as you're willing to change for good - everyday is a new day to change 1% better than yesterday.

2. Also you sometimes there are things can't control in life, & that's when you have to redha, learn to let go & let God. When you redha after giving your best, you will feel light & content because you know everything in this life belongs to God & you just borrowed it from Him. And He will never let you lost but keep ask Him to guide you.

3. It's never too late for anything; the road is yours - open the map, navigate your way & go to your destination, re-route if needed & it doesn't matter how much time you take as long as you reach there.

4. Still need to work on work-life balance & dunia-akhirah balance. Especially on the akhirah since that is eternal.

Nevertheless, I'm so happy & grateful with this temporary life. Hopefully I will continue to age gracefully & happily 😊 

To many more blessed year & making great memories in life in shaa Allah ❤

Till then,

Adlina

A nostalgic person

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

There's this one time, I went to Starbucks with my housemate after taraweeh prayers. It was raining at that time, & seeing the rain falling lead me to think about a lot of things. It's like seeing flashbacks of the present, past & future. Lol such a complicated situation. After we went back, I still couldn't sleep as easy as I usually always do.

Had a small conversation with a friend about few adult life things & it made me realize how much we've grown up. I've been feeling nostalgic lately & couldn't stop feeling that way last night. If you Google, a nostalgic person as defined by Merriam Webster was someone who longs for a past time or condition. 

I don't always long for my past, but I always remember them.  I was always attached to memories. There were places that I went, will remind me of all the good & bad memories I've been through, mostly the good ones. Out of people, places & events - I was attached most to memories associated with places.

Let me tell you how it feels to be a nostalgic person. As a person with strong memories, I will always be able to recall everything that happened in my life, big or smalll. Whenever I came across to the places that associated with my memories, especially the strong ones, I couldn't help but having flashbacks of things that happen there. It's like you're sitting & rewatching that moment one more time.

When you went out & saw things that could trigger me then I started to feel nostalgic. Crap, I hate to feel that way. Sometimes I will have so much to say, & all sorts of emotions in my heart but unable to let it go. That's the price I have to pay being a nostalgic person. Sometimes I wished to be like a normal person, not remembering & felt things the way I did. 

I have discovered one way to overcome this thing, which was through writing. It helped a lot especially after I started writing this blog. Despite that, there's still a lot of things I couldn't write openly. Thanks Twitter for existing because I could rant a bit there. There were also things I couldn't write because everytime i hold my pen & paper to write, I went through another breakdown. I wanted to accomplish my writing dream, but that road is just too painful to go through.

But I will learn to deal with it. Because it's a gift to be this kind of person. Just like having superpower, you just have to control it & learn how it can benefit you.

Also, being this way too will remind me during darker days, that I've been through so many things in life, so that memories will help me to survive all the hardships in life.

Either ways both have pros & cons. But when things were hard, just try to look at things in different angle.

To many more feelings, hopefully only good ones.

Till then,

Adlina.

 

Florence Nightingale

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

Just a quick one. While I was working today, I saw one of my customer posted about international nurses' day. She quoted one line from someone that brought me down to my memory lane.

"Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painter's or sculptor's work" - Florence Nightingale

It brought be back to 12 years ago while I was in Form 3 perhaps. I always loved to go to the library, just because I loved to read. I liked to read biographies & it still remained until now. 

So there's one day I grabbed a book about Florence Nightingale's journey in nursing. I don't remember much but I knew she started the modern nursing. A lot of people were against what she's doing but she just keep doing what she wanted to do because she knew it will benefit people.

Her story really inspired me & I was so motivated to be in healthcare line; which at that time of course doctor, but I was so scared to be one because I was one clumsy lady. I was so afraid instead of savings lives, I might kill my patients. Thus, good bye doctor dream! Now here's come the "what ifs" thoughts, "What if I choose to work in hospital?", "What if I'm braver or more focused to achieve my dreams?". While I knew & believed God have greater plans for me, those were just my deep regrets I have in my heart which couldn't be undone. Florence Nightingale went through a lot to make modern nursing the way it is now when it seemed impossible, but her courage saved so many lives. So if you have big scary dreams, go for it okay?

Perhaps God knew what I felt in my heart, thus he brought me back to healthcare line, where I got to learn about medicine & diseases; which did involved treating people indirectly. I really loved what I'm doing now & enjoyed it anyway. I loved my doctors, purchasers, nurses & all my clients. It's just a memory that came out of us celebrating international nurses' day made me thought about tweaking the past.

Anyway, Florence Nightingale's story is so inspiring that you should read it! To all nurses, thank you for helping & caring for patients. Without you, lives might couldn't be saved. Thank you for sacrificing your time & energy to treat us.

Happy International Nurses' day!

“Never give nor take an excuse.”
“Ignite the mind’s spark to rise the sun in you.”
“There is no part of my life, upon which I can look back without pain" 

- Florence Nightingale 

Till then,

Adlina 

Two meaningful calls

 Assalamualaikum & Hi,

Today at work, I made phone calls as usual. However there were 2 calls that really means a lot to me & really touched my heart.

1st call - I promoted some medicine to the doctor and he made some purchase with me. Towards the end of call;

Dr : "Happy celebrating raya with your friends, husband, children & family, Adlina!"

A: "Dr, I'm still single, no children yet, will celebrate raya with my family in my hometown :)"

Dr: "Haaa, you're single? How come a sweet girl with a nice voice like you still single?" (Dr never heard me sing, if he did, he probably will ask me to shut my mouth haha)

A: *smile awkwardly on the phone* "Not sure Dr, Dr pray la I will find a good man to marry"

Dr: "Come here to clinic, I recommend guys for you haha. By the way how old are you Adlina? Maybe I can ask around"

A: "27 years old Dr"

Dr: "Aaaaa still very young, Adlina. No worries, if any good man come here, I recommend some to you"

I don't expect my doctors to say that kind of things. But the kind thoughts he had really made me go awww thanks doctor you're so nice. The fact that I lived in KL & he's in Perak, but he still think of finding someone for me.

2nd call - while making other calls, suddenly another doctor called my phone. She wanted to place some orders & checking some stuffs with me. Then she had patients, so she said she will call back. So total time she called me in between was around three times. We talked about a lot of medicines, she placed orders & I also managed to penetrate some medicine she never purchased before. At the end of the call,

Dr: "Anyway Adlina, where are you located at?" (the doctor is in Johor)

A: "I'm based in HQ in KL Dr, that's why I called Dr every month instead of visiting clinic"

Dr: "Aaah I see, whenever you're around do come here, Adlina. It's nice talking to you. Thank you so much for bearing with me & help me to check everything. I check a lot of item with you" (I was speechless already at this time because a doctor said this to a normal girl like me)

A: "Sure Dr, no problem. I like it if Dr ask me, I can learn a lot from Dr. If Dr come to KL also do tell me, maybe I can meet Dr too.

Dr: "Hopefully Adlina, really hope can see you too"

A: *remember 1 item that Dr might purchase, so the conversation continues in the end Dr buy another item*

Some days, I got scolded. Some days, I don't know what to talk about. Everyday there's always new things I learn & enjoy. But today was a special day because there were memorable moments with me & my doctors beyond doing business. And these were things I will always remember especially during lows.

My bosses always told me to build good rapports with doctors & purchasers whether they buy from you or not. If they didn't buy today, they will buy one day. But you have to treat them well for them to remember the company & you especially. Because any company can sell medicine, but not everyone can give a great service & be an amazing salesperson.

To many more good rapports & more sales.

Till then,

Adlina.

A perfect call

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

I was on the train to go back to my hometown. It's 2am & suddenly I felt like writing this after waking up from my sleep. 

Today I had a session with my supervisor to analyse my performance. We used to have these kind of sessions back then when I started work. After my performances getting stable & all of us were getting busier, we kind of stopped doing this. 

Nevertheless, April & May will be a little bit harder for us, so perhaps that's why I was called for this session.

My performance was still on track & my work progress still okay. However, every time I walked into this room to discuss about my work, I was always amazed by how there's always and always something to talk about & improvised. Previous posts I've written already included the summaries of our conversations during these sessions (click here)

Like today, we talked about the calls I've made. 

1) Talking speed

When my supervisor played few of my calls, there were a lot of things I realized. I talked quite fast. Talking face to face & on the phone were so different. I thought I conveyed the information clearly but I was not. On the phone, we have to speak the words clearly 1 by 1 for the customers to capture the information we shared through our voices. We're not present in front of them but we have to make sure the way we talked were like we're sitting beside them. That's what I have improved since my first call back in August, but still need to improvise now for better customer experiences.

 

2) Monotonous 

The highlight of the review was most of my calls were monotonous. This was something new for me to realize & learn. When we listened to the calls, there were in 1 tone, lack of emotions & I was playing it safe in conveying the information. We hear some other successful calls and I was amazed on how they contained so much emotions according to what they're talking about, excitement to share information & the way to initiate buying signals from customers.

Sometimes, you being so happy & putting your emotions similar as in customer shoes will build their trust in you. That's something I will need to focus on starting from now.

3) Follow up service

Starting from day 1 making calls, my bosses already told me to have probing with customers on anything from what they liked, how was their days & etc. But as usual, I was playing it safe. Usually I will call to follow up on stocks availability, share promotions & told any additional information. Sometimes if I already called for all of these on previous month, I will feel I don't know what to talk about in this month conversation.

One thing my supervisor highlighted today - to follow up on our service. I never even once called to ask our customers regarding their shopping experience with us by call, if through WhatsApp I had always done it. Thus, this was definitely a keypoint I need to remember.

In summary, there were still a lot of room of improvements I need to make for me to reach that perfect call. 

Another thing that was highlighted - sales was not only about money. It's mostly about satisfaction & happiness in doing your job. I realized that since day I went for interview, but now I felt it stronger. Money will make you stable & comfortable. But passion & purpose were what will make you happy & excited to do this repetitive gestures in your job.

Second thing, I just want to share was today I was sent to meet vendor to test something for my department. I went to the meeting room where I used to have my SL1M training back then. 

It kind of made me felt nostalgic because this nobody girl who was just a trainee that didn't get the opportunity to shine, finally be back in the same room now given a chance to be a part of decision that will make a difference in the company.

 

I shall remember today for these two memorable things; a great review session & realising how far I've been since before.

To many more making good changes in life :)

Look at how far we've become

But I'll never forget where I came from

Till then,

Adlina

3am thoughts

Assalamualaikum & Hi,

It's almost 3am while I was writing this and I couldn't sleep. Just finished eating Maggi Kari & had a long hot shower to refresh myself. I had a lot of things on my mind & here's the only safe space for me to rant.

Life has been both good & bad. The good part was fine. But the bad part was quite hard for me to digest. 

Few months ago, I met someone who's seemed fine too me. Of course I put boundaries & kept space for suspicious thoughts to be safe. However it turned out this person was lying to me. Things I have doubt for turned out to be correct. I was relieved that God showed me truth more feeling hurt. In fact I felt I wasn't hurt at all. I was just glad.

Unfortunately, few weeks after that, I was struck by thoughts that made me cried for days. It was, how could a person lied that way, especially to someone who's honest & sincere to open her heart? How could you fake yourself for someone who's ready to learn to accept you? How could you use someone to fill the empty spaces in your life while the other person wanted to make you a part of her life? How could you caused someone's light to be dimmed by decieving her? How..just how could you? 

It's be better to be rejected than being lied to because at least you're being true to yourself.

I never knew I was hurt until someone splurged to me about this which made me reflected on this. It was me who trusted people so easily and I wasn't careful enough. But how could I have mistrust people if I wanted to get to know them? I was in deep pain crying for days. The pain was not on the surface, but deeper at the bottom of my heart which I failed to see. I was told I was no longer on fire for work. My fire started to extinguish. I didn't show much passion at work. I realized that too. I noticed I just do things for the sake of doing it instead of being excited to learn like I always do. That's when I started to realized I should stop feeling whatever I was feeling because it could affect my current life. The last time I felt similarly this way, I moved to a new city, and that's something I didn't want to do.

As I was writing this, my tears just couldn't keep flowing. I couldn't contain the pain of keep meeting the wrong people. Despite everything that happened, I still have the courage to be brave to give chance to others. That's the something in me nobody could steal - perseverance. I kept telling myself whenever things didn't go my way, generally in all aspects in life;

"There's so many exciting adventures ahead you'll never see if you give up now"

I kept praying to God, please, please..lead me to people with sincere & honest heart with good intentions the way I have in my heart & mind. Now, I wanted to focus being my better self because you'll attract people with the same energy. I also need to find back my burning fire I used to have back then. I was one of diamonds of the season before, I have to be one again. Most importantly, I must learn to surrender my heart to God & accept whatever he has in store for me wholeheartedly.

No pain can't be cured, no heart can't be healed, no life can't be better - as long as you give a chance for it, no matter how hard & bad things you've faced. You'll appreciate the sweetness of success later :)

p/s: I really felt so much better after writing this. And it's 3am plus now so, I felt really sleepy already. Good night readers, sleep well. And please pray everything will be better for me. I wanted to glow & shine the way I always do :)

Till then,

The sappy Adlina.